I read an amazing post by a local pastor this morning, and I have to share it with you.

PLEASE go and read this article by Pastor Chuck Balsamo:

“Drinking Down the Cup of Anarchy”

Over the past week, I have been so burdened for President Obama.  Not angered at him; burdened for him.  There is a big difference between the two.  Do you understand what I’m saying? 

Now, when Obama gets up in the morning, he may not feel a thing.  He may tell anyone that asks, “how are you, sir?” that he’s fine, that things are progressing, etc.  He may not know or even feel that anything is wrong.

But Obama, and our government, and this nation, are all under attack.

Alongside all that, the church, the family of God, is also under attack.  If you read the statistics that Pastor Chuck mentions in his article, the numbers are staggering and the news is grave.

And if we Christians don’t step up and accept our “marching orders” everything that we hold dear is going to vaporize before our very eyes.

And what are those marching orders? 

Not what you think.

Read the following:

“If My people, which are called by My Name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and turn from their wicked ways…”  II Chronicles 7:14

THAT, Christian friend, is your marching orders.  THAT is what is supposed to be foremost in your daily activity.  Top on the list.  The first thing you do.  And as one person commented on Pastor Chuck’s site, most of the time all we give to our pastors and our leaders is a half-hearted “bless them, Lord” and we don’t do anything else. 

YOU are the only one that will know if you’re really praying deep prayers over your leaders.  Only you will know if your prayers are half-hearted, lacking conviction and passion and true concern.

So… are you praying?  And if not, then I have to ask… WHY NOT?

Why would you turn your back on the one thing God has asked of you?  Praying for your fellow man is the highest act of love you can offer.  You are sacrificing yourself by giving up YOUR time to pray for someone else, who desperately needs your prayer covering.

And if you don’t think the pastors of this country, the leaders of this country, and the president of this country, need your prayers, then you need to rethink your thinking.

And how dare any of us look at God and say, “well, it won’t matter if I pray or not.  Things are too far gone.”  How dare we do such a thing! Because when we do that, we are telling God that He can’t help.  Do we honestly believe that God can’t save our nation???

I know my words sounds passionate, and even biting.  But if you’re offended, you will just have to be offended.  This is important.  We as Christians are allowing ourselves to be deluded into thinking that we can criticize and talk and berate and judge those that lead, and those that shepherd us, and we are not realizing that we are playing into the schemes of the devil himself when we do these things.  As Paul said in some of his letters in the New Testament, “brethren, these things ought not to be.” 

I know that our government leaders, President Obama included, are not doing things the way I would like.  I know that things have happened that I disagree with.  But in all of that, these are still my leaders!  He is STILL my president! And I am bound by God’s Word to pray for the man!  It is what we are ALL called to do.  We are called to pray for ALL in authority, not just those who are members of the political party we agree with.  We are called to pray for ALL of our shepherds, not just those that preach sermons we want to hear.

And if we allow ourselves to ignore that calling, then we have no one else to blame but ourselves, when this nation’s pastors and this nation’s leaders follow a path that is unhealthy for the future of this nation, this land that we love.

The call is out, the marching orders have been posted.

Are YOU doing what you are CALLED to do, Christian friend?

Today’s Cookie Crumb:

“I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;  Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.”  I Timothy 2:1-4

Well, the decision has been made.

The lighthouse run is postponed until the Spring.

Yes, I am a little discouraged, but not to the point that I am giving up.

Upon evaluating where I’m at, and what’s been happening, the wise thing to do is put it off until warm weather comes again.

SO….

I continue to train, and prepare myself even more so mentally (I’m already prepared and pumped!), and continue to be more fit than what I am now.

This is the crisis point, you know?  Do I allow myself to get so discouraged that I give up?  Or do I look to the future, and trust God that there is a reason as to why the spring would be better than now?

I choose the latter.  When things don’t work out for now, that doesn’t mean they won’t ever work out. 

It’s like prayer; just because you don’t get “yes” right now, doesn’t mean that “yes” isn’t ever going to come.  God has His reasons for saying, “Wait.”

So I wait.  But I actively wait.

And by “actively waiting” I don’t mean just keeping myself busy.  The hard part about walking out a plan is keeping yourself on course when the goal seems out of reach.  That’s where “staying power” really has to be strong.  It’s not the last 500 yards of a NASCAR race that are hard.  It’s running lap after lap after lap after lap after lap…. left turn, left turn, left turn… you get my point.  Can you continue, be constant, be consistent, during the long stretches when it all looks the same?

Yes, you can.  And so can I.

So no excuses, no reasons to quit.  It’s not over yet, and I don’t plan on giving up.

And you shouldn’t either.  For whatever reason, your plans may have to change.  Don’t give up on your dreams, your visions, your goals.  They’re still out there, even if right now they look like they’re out of reach.  Push toward them, in faith, and don’t give up!

Today’s Cookie Crumb:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith.”  II Timothy 4:7

It feels a little chilly in here… does it feel chilly where you’re at?  Think a blanket would feel good right now?

When the weather starts to turn cold, that’s the first thing you think of, isn’t it?  You want to get warm, so you can feel better.

I’m the same way.  To me there’s nothing better than a nice cup of warm tea, and a nice, soft blanket on a chilly day.

 There are other things, though, that can be “chilly,” such as reality.  We call it the “cold, hard truth.”

And if you’re not careful, facing the cold facts of reality can get you discouraged.  And if you pay attention to discouragement too long, it can persuade you to just… quit.

See, I’m STILL preparing for this lighthouse run.  But I went through six weeks of stressful situations and long road trips, while dealing with my mom’s situation, so I didn’t get to exercise during those weeks, and I didn’t eat properly either.  I lost my momentum, and I put on some weight. 

The reality is… I didn’t stick to my eating plan.  The reality is… I allowed myself to indulge in things that I knew I shouldn’t have, such as ice cream.  The reality is… I didn’t take the time to exercise, and I could have.  The cold harsh reality is… I dropped the ball.

I have 8 pounds to lose, to get back to where I was.  They aren’t coming off easily, and I’m eating and exercising like I should.  But the “chill” of what I’ve allowed to happen to myself, is enough to get me discouraged.

Discouragement is like a blanket, that wraps around you, soft and warm, and whispers in your ear, “Eh, why try? You’ll only end up failing anyway.  Besides, it’s not important.  No one’s gonna notice if you succeed or not.  No one cares anyway.  This is pointless.”

Discouragement CAN be fought off, however, if you keep the prize in view.

I love the movie “Apollo 13″ because it gives a clear example of keeping the prize in view.  In the movie, Tom Hanks peers out the window of the lunar module at the earth, as he contemplates how to perform a “burn” of the command module’s engine to get them back on course.  He tells the people at the Control Center in Houston that he can accomplish the burn and get the command module where it needs to be, just by keeping the earth in the  center of the window.  It’s a very tense moment in the lives of three astronauts and a host of NASA personnel, but they get it to work.

All by keeping the earth — the prize — in the window.

So I have to keep the prize — the picture of doing this lighthouse run — in the window of my mind.  That’s what gets me back on course, and motivates me to go forward.  It keeps me focused on the everyday steps for getting to that prize, such as pushups, sit-ups, leg raises, stretches to do, miles to jog, and weights to lift.

You too may have a goal that you’re shooting for, and things have happened to thwart your efforts.  Sometimes it’s circumstances beyond your control.  Sometimes you make choices that aren’t the best choices.  The prize is still out there, but the cold harshness of reality has put a ”chill” on your enthusiasm.  And discouragement is approaching, trying to wrap itself around you… 

Stop!  Throw the blanket off!

Let me share with you a comment made by a writer friend of mine, to another aspiring writer who was discouraged over the “cold reality” of not achieving her word count goal.  Things had happened, and she had fallen behind.  His comment was, “you’ve already typed more than you would have if you had never started, right?  So you’ve achieved what you’ve achieved up to this point.  Why quit now?  If you quit, then you lose everything you’ve done up to this point.”

He’s right.  The progress you’ve made so far, is more than enough reason to keep going.

You don’t need that blanket, you know?  Granted, reality sometimes can be chilly, or even cold.  But instead of wrapping yourself up in discouragement, get the prize back in the window! Get yourself refocused — it’s not over yet! Whatever progress you’ve made up to this point, that’s all the more reason to keep going.  You haven’t lost your chance, and you haven’t failed at anything.  The prize, the goal, is still out there.

As for me?  Don’t need a blanket.  I’ve already exercised today, and I’m not feeling chilly at all. 

Today’s Cookie Crumb:

“Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the LORD.” Psalm 31:24

I’m still preparing for the lighthouse run.

Even though…

I’ve been six weeks without exercise, and had six weeks of stressful situations on my plate, and it was all things I either couldn’t help or couldn’t avoid. 

I’ve been looking at the end result of six weeks without any forward progress.  And you know as well as I do, when you’re not moving forward, you’re actually moving backward instead of standing still.  So now doubt is trying to set in.  I’m thinking, Should I still do this thing?

Yes.

I’ve been mentally preparing for this run, for almost a year now.  I can see myself doing it, jogging up the spiral staircases, and gazing out at the ocean from on top, and then jogging back down, and exiting the lighthouse… victorious.

But there is also a conflicting thought in my mind, that I’ve lost too much time to be adequately prepared.  Issues in life, things that I could not avoid, took up too much time.  I have experienced that well-known nemesis called a “setback.”

HOWEVER…

by the Grace of God, I will prevail.  Because it’s been placed on my heart to do this thing, so I intend on finishing what I’ve started.

The Currituck Lighthouse will still be open in November, so if I have to reschedule the lighthouse run, then I will reschedule.  But it will happen. 

Yet I find myself wondering, God, did You intend for my plans or my schedule to be changed?  Is there a reason I need to postpone this?  Do you know something about the upcoming months that would interfere with my original plans to make this run in October?

I am reminded of a friend’s comment many months ago:  “Just rest, and let God do it.  Stop trying to make things happen.”

But we do make things happen, right?  We get ideas, we look to the future, we consider options, we make plans, and then we act on those plans!   

But sometimes life takes a turn, and adjustments have to be made.

So… I am adjusting. 

A little setback can be a good thing, if you approach it properly.  Setbacks force you to rethink your position, your plans, your reasons behind what you’re doing.  Setbacks don’t have to be brick walls that stop you in your tracks.  Sometimes setbacks test our creativity.  Just how will we continue with what has been placed on our heart?  What new ideas can be thought, that will aid in completion of the journey?

I’m sure the disciples, at first, thought the crucifixion of Jesus was a “setback.”  I mean, think about it!  Don’t you think they were hiding in the shadows, watching what was happening, thinking, “Okay, NOW what???”  Don’t you think watching Jesus die on the cross, and seeing him buried in a tomb, threw them for a loop?  See, at the time, they didn’t have the gospels to read, so they did not know the rest of the story!  I’m sure they were watching what was taking place and contemplating the end of all their hopes and dreams for ministry.  I’m sure they didn’t see any way to continue with their same “plan.”  Life was suddenly different, and they had to “adjust.”

What do you do, when your plans get changed?  How do you react, when your schedule is altered, due to circumstances beyond your control?  More importantly, how does God want us to react, and what does He want us to do? 

I’m curious to hear your responses.

This is one of three posts that I don’t want to write.

But I feel I must.

This is the house that once was.  But it was more than just a house.  It was… basketball games at the bottom of the driveway all Saturday long, with tournaments that went long into the night.  It was… ham radio antennas being strung through all the trees, by tying one of Dad’s tools to the end of the antenna wire and throwing it as hard as possible up into the tree, hoping it would find a branch to hang on to (and many times the tool was lost in the process).  It was… Monopoly competitions using three boards together, in the living room floor.  It was… heights being marked on the edge of the bathroom door, all the way up to age 16.  It was… batches of cookies being baked through the years, black forest cake sliding apart in the fridge, mashed potatoes landing on the ceiling because Mom tripped on the way to the table, tons of canning vegetables in the hot, summer months, kitchen hose water fights while Mom and Dad were at work, coke being sprayed on the kitchen ceiling, big brother trying to “help” Mom do the laundry by putting bleach in the washing machine with the colored sheets — before they had gotten wet.

It was a flashing Jack O’Lantern on Halloween night, and a flashing Snowman face during the Christmas season, all because we liked “blinky bulbs” the best.  It was humid summer nights, with the metal window fan going at full speed, and the metal window screen flapping in the breeze.  It was golf tournaments played by high school boys, using our back yard as the beginning of the course, but winding all through the neighborhood, so no neighbor was safe from renegade golf balls flying through the air.  It was tuba parts being cleaned and scrubbed and polished to perfection in the one bathtub we had, which meant the bathtub also had to be cleaned and scrubbed.

It was hours of piano practice, and some late night sing-alongs, with the front door open so the whole world could hear.  It was the Mormon Tabernacle choir singing on Sunday mornings on the radio, while three sleepy-headed children ate muffins and eggs for breakfast before going to church.  It was dark, cold mornings, eating oatmeal in front of the wall heater next to the kitchen table, before setting out for the schoolbus stop more than a block away to wait on the bus in the dark.

It was… a backyard carnvial that two boys roped their dad into agreement about, so the entire neighborhood, plus many others, could come and have fun, dunking the older boy in a homemade dunking booth, while the younger boy led the attendees through a makeshift haunted house in the basement, complete with “eyes” made of wet dryer lint, while their mom boiled hotdogs in the kitchen for four hours to sell.  A full-blown carnival, complete with tons of games, plus a gypsy to “read” palms and give people goofy ideas about their future.

It was slumber party after slumber party after slumber party…

It was a little girl, listening to “The Nutcracker Suite,” mesmerized while watching the random patterns made on the walls and ceiling by the flashing lights on the Christmas tree.  It was pristine snowfalls that glistened in the light of the streetlight, late at night when no one could disturb their magical appearance.  It was carefully planned and calculated sledding runs complete with jumps.

It was hot afternoon baseball games on a multi-level baseball field that took up three back yards.  It was muddy games of “Pick Up and Smear” football where someone usually got upset over getting “smeared.”  It was grilling steaks, with Dad watching faithfully with his squirt gun, ready to shoot the offending flames so the steaks wouldn’t get burned.

It was the remodel of the century, as an old cinderblock basement was transformed into a wonderful family room, complete with woodburning stove, and a deck being added off the dining room where the old window fan had been, and the wall heater disappearing from the kitchen because the wall was taken out so the kitchen and dining room could be connected.

It was three dogs, and four cats, and loads of goldfish throughout the years…

It was tuba playing, and clarinet playing, and piano playing, and guitar playing, and most of all, “drum” playing on every available surface in the house…

It was carefully mastered rim “playing,” as two brothers calculated the amount of water needed in crystal goblets to create beautiful major seventh chords, much to their mother’s dismay.  It was Mom sitting on the edge of her seat during the blessing, ready to jump and run for the kitchen, to pull the rolls out of the oven so they wouldn’t burn.

It was so many things… mostly good and fun and memorable, but it was a typical family, with typical family dysfunction, and typical family squabbles, and typical family tears.  So it was also hugs, and apologies, and struggles.  Good and bad, all together.

And now, it is no more.  For a 90-foot oak tree, caught in a downburst of wind, fell on the house on July 29.

In the aftermath of this disaster, I am having to deal with so many things, mainly… where is Mom going to be now? And should she live alone? No, of course not.  Her memory is failing faster and faster every day.

So, I must say farewell to the only home I had growing up.  And I must say farewell to the house that held so many memories.

Thankfully, these things about the house are in my memory.  But they don’t reside solidly in someone else’s memory, any more.  And that brings me to the saddest farewell in this entire situation.

Mom.

When Dad died in 2000, it was quick, and almost shocking.  He hadn’t been sick, but trouble had been brewing and we’d not known it was there.  An abdominal aortic aneurism took his life, in the middle of the night.  In 30 seconds or less, he was gone.  It is the one truly painful memory of the house, for Mom found him the next morning.

Mom’s situation has not been quick, even though in some ways it has been shocking.  Mom was the one to always be on top of things.  She always knew where everything was.  She always had an answer for everything.  She handled life with grace and ease.  She has always been… amazing. 

Mom became very ill in 2007 with a serious infection in her lungs, and almost suffocated from it.  When my brother got her to the doctor, the lack of oxygen to her brain caused her to not know who she was, where she was, or anything.   She recovered from the infection, but her memory has never come back in full force.   So yes, we are dealing with the “A” word:  Alzheimers.

Mom has an apartment in an assisted living center now, close to my older brother and his wife, so they can check on her and be there if something serious arises.  She has others who check on her on a regular basis, too.  So she is not alone anymore, and she is well taken care of.  I came to visit Mom this past week to see how she was getting adjusted, and to take care of some financial matters and other things.  It’s been good to be with her, but I can tell that her memory is slipping farther, and faster.  She doesn’t remember the house or the tree falling on it, unless you bring it up.  She constantly asks the same questions over and over again.

I had been preparing myself since she was in the hospital in 2007, knowing that one day, she would not know who I was.  Well…

it happened last night.

She had asked me the night before, “Who is that boy over there?” (pointing to my son)  I would answer simply, “that’s my son.”  Then she would say, “oh” and nod in acceptance of what I said.  Last night, instead of that being the last question, she then looked at ME and said…

“Who ARE you???”

I just sat there, staring into eyes that did not recognize me.  Then she said, “Where did I meet you? Knoxville? Marion? Nashville?  I don’t know how you know me, or I know you, or…”

I still just sat there, before responding, wondering if she would be able to recapture what she had lost.  When it didn’t appear she was going to be able to bring up the knowledge of who I am in her life, I quietly said:

“I’m your daughter.”

The look on her face was crushing to me, because I knew how much my words had shocked her.  She was devastated.  Yet, I had to say the truth, you know?

“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”

For some, Alzheimer’s can be a rough trial, because they become combative, and emotional, and they don’t understand why.  Some Alzheimer’s sufferers become violent, hitting people for no reason, and doing other things.  But for most, Alzheimer’s is a slow… painless… death… for the one suffering from it.  They don’t know how much they are losing, and a lot of times, they never know that it’s gone. They just… slip… into nonexistence, even though they are still alive.

It’s the rest of the family, and their friends, who suffer.  For all those people suffer the pain of farewell, long before the casket is closed.

I’m going back over to see my mom again today, like I have for the past four days, and spend time with her, while I still have time.  And she may not know who I am, at all.  But we will spend time together, and have fun, and talk, and share, and hopefully, she will smile.

There’s only one thing I can hang onto at this point, and I clutch this knowledge tightly in my heart:

God knows my mom, whether or not she knows anyone else, or herself.

Hug your family members today, tell your friends how much they matter, share those things that you’ve been meaning to share, take the time to record all those stupid family stories while you still have the time and opportunity to remember them, and make sure that you know your God, and that you spend enough time with Him so you are confident He knows you.